LBGTQ+ FOCUS
Taking off the cloak of invisibility
Many from traditionally marginalised groups such as the LGBTQ+ community struggle to reveal their true selves at work. MaryAnne Armstrong of Birch, Stewart, Kolasch & Birch explores some insights drawn from interviewing members of marginalised groups.
In many ways, significant progress has been made with diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) efforts in recent years and whether a law firm or company has ethnic or racial and gender diversity is usually now a visible metric.
However, what about marginalised groups who live under a cloak of invisibility and cannot be their full authentic self unless they choose to ‘out’ themselves?
This article focuses largely on challenges and experiences of members of the LGBTQ+ community, as most of the discussions were held with individuals who identify as such.
However, the lessons learned apply equally to any marginalised individuals who are only visible if they outwardly identify as LGBTQ+, religious, neurodiverse, a veteran, or as someone with a low socio-economic background.
Steps forward
How do law firms and companies make their environment supportive and inclusive, so that a member of any marginalised group feels safe and supported, and does not need to question whether there is a risk in taking off their cloak and being their full self?
While progress has been made with DEI efforts in many areas of the world, we can also see that progress backsliding.
While hate crimes based on race still by far make up the majority of single bias incidents, approximately 20% of the reported hate crimes in the US in 2021 were based on sexual orientation or gender identity, with religion being the basis of approximately 13% and disability being the basis for approximately 2%.
In England and Wales the largest increases in hate crimes in 2021/2022 compared to 2020/2021 were those based on sexual orientation (41% increase), gender identity (56% increase), disability (43%) and religion (37% increase).
With statistics like this, it is not surprising that members of ‘self-reporting’ marginalised groups experience significant anxiety over whether they should share their status with co-workers and supervisors.
While they may be unlikely to face a full on hate crime at work, they still run the risk of facing microaggressions, being treated differently, being passed over for assignments and promotions and being socially ostracised or even fired because of their status.
Large law firms often have affinity groups to support members of various marginalised classes. Affinity groups may not be feasible with a very small law practice, however everyone can be an ally regardless of the size of the firm and ally status can be signalled through your actions.
”Members of ‘self-reporting’ marginalised groups experience significant anxiety over whether they should share their status with co-workers and supervisors.”
Don’t assume
When getting to know a new hire, do not make assumptions. Do not assume that the new hire’s partner is of a different gender.
Use neutral terms such as “partner” or, if you know they are, in fact, married, refer to their “spouse”.
For example, if you are trying to get to know a new male-identifying associate at the firm or company and you know they are married, do not say: “What does your wife do?” or “Is your wife also an attorney?”
If their spouse is male, they are now put in the very awkward position of having to choose to hide their sexual orientation and effectively lie or come out with their sexual orientation sooner than they may have otherwise wanted and with that correct someone who is their supervisor when they do not know how it will be perceived.
By asking what their “partner” does, the associate gets a subtle message that you recognise and are accepting of homosexual couples, and they can choose to come out or not at their discretion and when they feel comfortable doing so.
The attorney in question may decide to stay gender neutral and respond with gender neutral terms by saying: “they are an attorney and do tax law, but I married them anyway” or they may take the opportunity to come out and respond, “my husband is a tax attorney, but I still love him.”
Making a workplace a safe and encouraging environment for the marginalised to take off their cloak of invisibility and wholly share their identity is largely the product of the behaviour of the partners, shareholders and managers.
Small, yet powerful, actions
Partners, shareholders and managers need to be deliberate and mindful in their everyday actions, as well as their hiring practices and anti-discriminatory policies.
This can happen in a myriad of small, but powerful ways, which may require some ‘reprogramming’ about how we speak and think about things.
For example, when interviewing a new hire do you and your HR person refer to “parental leave” or “maternity leave” as an offered benefit?
The culture of a law firm or company flows from the leadership. The leadership sets the standard of what is acceptable behaviour and leadership has the power to create a culture of acceptance, which allows members of marginalised groups who are largely self-reporting to take off the cloak of invisibility.
”When getting to know a new hire, do not make assumptions. Do not assume that the new hire’s partner is of a different gender.”
Case studies
The anxiety associated with someone who is part of an invisible marginalised group can be seen through the eyes of P, who is a lawyer practising in the Washington DC area.
P is gay and he and his husband recently became parents with the adoption of their son. P said that until that time he had not come out at his place of work because he was concerned about possible responses from people and it just didn’t seem like it was worth the risk of possible consequences. However, with the event of becoming a parent, there were more considerations, eg, adding his child to his insurance, taking parental leave etc.
But more importantly, P and his husband were now a family, raising a child. This was a joyous occasion for him and he wanted to share it with those around him. While someone who is heterosexual would simply share their happy news, whether and how to share the adoption of his son with co-workers was far more complex for P because it would also mean sharing his LGBTQ+ status.
His concerns were: how would his co-workers and supervisor react to finding out 1) that he is gay and 2) that as a gay male he is becoming a parent? Would it affect his career? Would his co-workers act differently around him?
P chose to share his sexual orientation in the subtle way of putting out a family picture in his office with him, his husband and their new baby. For P the story had a happy ending and his co-workers and supervisor were accepting and supportive and celebrated his family with a baby shower. But the happy ending does not erase the anxiety and concerns that P experienced in deciding to come out at his place of work.
K, a gay man, described a supervisor who he very much respected and enjoyed working with, noting that the supervisor made a point of asking how K’s husband is doing and acknowledging K’s husband by name. The supervisor made it clear that he accepted K and his husband and recognised them as being a married couple. This may seem like a small thing, but it spoke volumes to K as to what kind of work environment the office was.
MaryAnne Armstrong is a partner at Birch, Stewart, Kolasch & Birch. She can be contacted at: maa@bskb.com <maa@bskb.com
Image: Shutterstock / twospeeds